Saturday, January 14, 2017

Please remember the Alamo tonight after you floss, okay?

Sam and Josh went “gallavanting” today. Due to inclement weather — i.e., an ice storm — in Oklahoma they had to skip their excursion to the Choctaw Casino in favor of sleeping late and a bowl of oatmeal followed by a driving tour of nearby cattle country, which is practically across the street. The following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; and B) cattle ranches. Seriously, I wouldn’t kid you about cattle ranches.
At the moment Sam and Josh are enjoying their second football game of the day (this time it’s the Houston Texans and New England Patriots) and I’m taking a short break from the NFL to finish the Howdygram post that I started several hours ago. And in case you’re wondering, Sam brought home tacos tonight from Fuel City, the world’s best truck stop and a Texas landmark, with two kinds of salsa plus sugar-free fried pies for dessert. Or as we’d say here in Texas ... FROD PAHS, y’all!

I’ve got another dead celebrity for you tonight! This time it’s Dick Gautier, 85, who starred in the original Broadway production of “Bye, Bye Birdie” (1960) alongside Dick Van Dyke and then played Hymie the Robot on the TV sitcom “Get Smart” (1965 to 1970). Gautier died last night at an assisted living facility in Arcadia, California.

It might interest you to know that Gautier only made six appearances as Hymie on “Get Smart” over the course of four seasons but this is the one character that fans of the series remember most. The rest of the time Gautier popped up as a guest on assorted game shows and all the usual TV comedies and dramas ... “Murder, She Wrote,” “The Love Boat,” “Columbo,” “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” “The Rockford Files,” “Matlock” and so on.
Gautier began his career as a stand-up comic with terrific hair and was also an author, a songwriter and a caricature artist. He is survived by a bunch of daughters and a nice website.

I’ll finish this post with a few brief news bulletins, okay?

FOR WEATHER JUNKIES. We’re expecting rain to begin here around 10 a.m. tomorrow morning with several consecutive hours of heavy thunderstorms rolling in at 3 p.m., just in time for the Cowboys/Packers playoff game in Arlington. This means nothing to me whatsoever as I’m handicapped with a bunch of mobility issues and never leave the house except for my quarterly doctor appointment. (The next one is coming up on February 3. I’m excited.) At the moment Howdygram headquarters and the entire Dallas metro area are completely shrouded in heavy fog.

I DON’T HAVE ANY NEW FREE FONTS TO SHARE WITH YOU. Deal with it, okay? My source websites — and — haven’t uploaded any new fonts for the last few days but I’m sure they’ll make up for lost time by Monday. Stay tuned!

I’M DETERMINED TO GO TO BED EARLY TONIGHT. Like by 1 a.m. if at all possible. It’s only 11 p.m. right now and I’ve already taken my bedtime meds and an insulin injection. If somebody would like to come over and tuck me in, please send an email immediately along with a brief résumé if I don’t know who the hell you are. Thank you.

AN UPDATE FROM “CLOTS-R-US.” I did my biweekly at-home BLOOD CLOT TEST yesterday. The result was a perfect on-goal 2.1, which I emailed immediately to Dr. M. She was so excited she ruptured a major artery and asked me to re-test my clotting time in two weeks, which would be January 27. In case you have no idea what I’m talking about here, I take Coumadin (a blood thinner) for a heart condition and have to test my blood clotting speed regularly to make sure it’s not too high or too low. So that poor Sam won’t have to shlep me (and my heavy bariatric wheelchair) to and from Dr. M’s office for a stupid two-minute fingerstick blood test every few weeks we invested in our own CoaguChek XS meter and requisite testing supplies, the same equipment that my doctor uses. This turned out to be a brilliant investment. FYI, if you ever come over I would be glad to test your clotting speed for the low, low price of only $10, which is the actual cost of one test strip.

Thank you for reading this. Please remember the Alamo tonight after you floss, okay?

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