Sunday, January 29, 2017
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Hello, shalom, yo, how’s the family, hi-de-ho and happy Saturday morning from Howdygram headquarters! You will surely be pleased to note that I finally flipped myself into a normal sleeping pattern and woke up today at 9:15 after half a dozen pleasant hours of uninterrupted overnight sleep. Holy crap, right? And waking up early-ish also affords me the opportunity to eat a favorite breakfast ... Hormel Compleats Real Meatloaf with Nice Mashed Taters and Tan Sauce! This is amazing!
Thursday, January 26, 2017
I love my life, people, and being retired has some outstanding perks and benefits. These include: 1) sleeping and eating whenever the hell I want to; 2) spending all day dicking around with the Howdygram and nobody tells me to stop it and do something else; 3) I have no problem whatsoever being immobile with shitty knees because I love being housebound with Sam, my leather chaise and our new 60-inch TV; and 4) I haven’t worn a brassiere since 2011.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Hi, people. It’s 2:15 Wednesday morning and I’m wide awake at my desk in the study, eating crunchy stuff from Wal-Mart while I try to deal with nasal congestion, drippy eyes and a raging asshole in the White House. I have a hunch I’ll overcome a couple of these issues a lot easier than the third one. I’m just saying.
Monday, January 23, 2017
Saturday, January 21, 2017
Friday, January 20, 2017
I’m still dicking around with the Howdygram. Thursday afternoon I changed the wood background in the banner (again) and in the matching copyright section at the bottom of the right sidebar. A few more changes will show up tomorrow ... if I can stay awake long enough. This doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, because I had nine hours of sleep overnight but never really snapped out of it. An hour after I woke up I was ready to lie down again. I’m upside-down.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Happy Tuesday night from the Howdygram to you and yours! Sam is in bed and I’m at my desk in the study, noshing on seriously tasteless Wal-Mart store-brand potato chips and an ice cold Diet Sunkist. Life is good. Also I’ve got a lot of exciting news, regular features and general tidbits to share with y’all. Oh boy, right? Let’s get started!
Monday, January 16, 2017
Saturday, January 14, 2017
Sam and Josh went “gallavanting” today. Due to inclement weather — i.e., an ice storm — in Oklahoma they had to skip their excursion to the Choctaw Casino in favor of sleeping late and a bowl of oatmeal followed by a driving tour of nearby cattle country, which is practically across the street. The following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; and B) cattle ranches. Seriously, I wouldn’t kid you about cattle ranches.
Hello and happy Saturday morning from Howdygram headquarters. It’s just past 3 a.m., Sam and Josh are both asleep, and I’m killing a little time until my bedtime meds kick in and knock me out. It won’t be long now. When I start drifting off, therefore, please feel free to stop reading and do a crossword puzzle.
Thursday, January 12, 2017
I wanted to go to bed about an hour ago but I’m postponing it because I can’t belch and it feels like I’m having a heart attack. Sam and I enjoyed Chipotle chicken burritos for dinner last night — we love them! — but six hours later mine is still sitting in my stomach like an anvil. Maybe I ate too fast. In the meantime I’m slugging a Diet Sunkist soda with a weird expression on my face and waiting for relief. Stay tuned for a digestion update.
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
Happy Wednesday morning to you and yours! It’s 12:03 a.m., Sam is conked out in the family room pretending to watch Rachel and the Stranger (1948) starring Loretta Young and William Holden, and I’m ensconced here in the study with all kinds of compelling news for you ... such as free fonts, new background graphics, a billion exciting senior discounts, our seven-day weather forecast, and — best of all — I’m ready to make FANCY DEVILED EGGS this afternoon! So let’s get started, shall we?
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
Saturday, January 7, 2017
I need to report that it’s 17° outside — SEVENTEEN STINKING DEGREES! — with a wind chill that drops it down to 9°. This is uncommonly frigid for Texas, believe me. Winter here is rarely below freezing; 9° is downright ridiculous. Fortunately this won’t last very long, as illustrated by the following screen shot from Weather.com. Spring returns on Monday. I wonder where Sam hid my sandals.
Friday, January 6, 2017
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
There’s a strong chance this will be a short Howdygram post because I don’t have anything special to write about, I’m not feeling particularly creative and I actually feel quite uncomfortable sitting at my desk in study due to burning pain on the back of my thighs. It’s fucking impossible to be funny when you’re waiting for Norco to kick in! But that’s likely to change at any moment. Or maybe not. I’m rambling.
Monday, January 2, 2017
Monday night, 9 p.m., just finished dinner. Nothing fancy. A couple of nice frozen chicken things on pita bread from Costco. With cheese. And now maybe somebody can explain why I sound like Sergeant Joe Friday from “Dragnet.”
Sunday, January 1, 2017
Don’t look now ... but 2016 finally ground to a halt last night! I’m 65, and I’m positive that this was the most exhausting, revolting, emotionally-draining year I can ever remember ... even taking into account 1986 (finding out I had uterine cancer) and 1995 (divorcing my first husband). Therefore, in light of the obvious obstacle to happiness in the year ahead — i.e., Donald J. Trump, unless we can impeach the jerk by mid-February — I will instead wish each of you, and yours, a tolerable 2017. If we can squeak by with “tolerable” maybe I’ll finally be able to digest my food again.