Tuesday, July 5, 2016

This week’s “do” list and other silly baloney.

I seriously thought I wanted to spend all day designing can coolers for The Howdygram Store but an uncontrollable urge to type things commandeered my brain ... SO HERE I AM!

As far as I know Sam left for work this morning around 6 a.m., thereby inaugurating his premier on first shift. I think I vaguely recall speaking a couple of words (I don’t know which ones, sorry) but my short-term memory isn’t what it used to be and I fell back asleep until 7:45, at which time I vaulted off the chaise lounge to pish and eat pretzels, however NOT at the same time.

That has to be one of the best sentences I’ve ever written. Raise your hand if you agree.

Incidentally, the intense thunderstorms [see previous post] that barreled through here during the wee hours this morning — delivering several hours of drenching rain, winds in excess of 50 m.p.h., multiple brief power outages and thunder loud enough to shake the house — were not predicted by the National Weather Service. When interviewed this morning by our local news station, NWS meteorologist Lamont Bain said: “There are slam dunk days and some days it looks more marginal, but the days that look marginal can turn out to be big days.”

WTF! Does this clown earn an actual salary to say meaningless shit like this?!

With Sam already at work it feels mighty weird to be home alone at this time of day. Therefore I’m assembling a “do” list to help organize all the exciting projects and activities I’ve got planned for the rest of the week. So far these include:
  • Pish every four hours.
  • Check my INR (blood clotting speed) on Wednesday with my handy-dandy CoaguChek meter and finger-stabby things. Email the results to Dr. M.
  • Enjoy the teeny can of Dinty Moore Chicken & Dumplings that I found this morning in the study under a row of Chef Boyardee Mini Raviolis.
  • Design can coolers for The Howdygram Store. Also bottle openers, greeting cards, coffee mugs, a new line of tote bags and a lot of clever bridal crap. If you’re a clever bride-to-be I’ll let you know when to start shopping.
  • Write to Sandi, Adie and Eileen.
  • Inject insulin. Eat. Nap. Repeat.
  • Watch all the musicals recorded on our DVR: Summer Stock (1950) starring Judy Garland and Gene Kelly; Call Me Madam (1953) starring Ethel Merman; Anchors Aweigh (1945) starring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra; Hello Dolly (1969) starring Barbra Streisand; and The Music Man (1962) starring Robert Preston and Shirley Jones.
  • Record these upcoming movies: Virginia City (1940) starring Errol Flynn, Miriam Hopkins and Humphrey Bogart as a Mexican bandit with an atrocious French accent; Fort Apache (1948) starring Henry Fonda and Shirley Temple; Annie Oakley (1935) starring Barbara Stanwyck and Preston Foster; The Women (1939) starring Norma Shearer and Rosalind Russell; Pat and Mike (1952) starring Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy; All the President’s Men (1976) starring Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman; Network (1976) starring Peter Finch and William Holden; Sullivan’s Travels (1942) starring Joel McCrea; It’s Love I’m After (1937) starring Leslie Howard and Bette Davis; The Great Garrick (1937) starring Brian Aherne and Olivia de Havilland; Men Call It Love (1931) starring Adolphe Menjou; and Juarez (1939), a fine bio-pic starring Brian Aherne, Bette Davis and Paul Muni. Juarez should have won an Oscar for Most Ridiculous Achievement in Hair and Makeup. (Seriously.)

As always, thank you for reading this.

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