Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Sam came home from work four hours early tonight due to giant thunderstorms.

I don’t know how long I’ll be able to sit here typing because I’m definitely not feeling very well right now. As a matter of fact, I feel like ONE THOUSAND PERCENT TOTAL CRAP. My current complaints — all of which are physical, of course — include: 1) burning feet and screaming toes; 2) leaking pressure sores on the back of both thighs; 3) feeling nauseated, hot, clammy and short of breath; 4) I think that’s more than enough. In case you care or need clarification, item 1 is due to diabetic neuropathy, item 2 is due to diabetes in general, and item 3 is due to the first two making me feel so goddamn miserable I want to puke. Got it? This might be a good time to post the following Shit-O-Meter readout so you’ll have a better idea what’s what.

Oh my God ... this is REALLY HUGE, people. It’s 7 p.m. and Sam just called to tell me his office closed down and he’s coming home from work four hours early due to GIGANTIC STORMS and TWISTERS that are on the way tonight. We already have a tornado watch until 1 a.m., and the National Weather Service’s Storm Prediction Center described this as a “particularly dangerous situation” — a designation that’s used in “rare situations when long-lived intense tornadoes are likely.” We’re also talking about torrential rain, high wind and hail as big as grapefruits. Oy, holy shit. GRAPEFRUIT-SIZED HAIL! (Howdygram headquarters is circled in neon yellow in case you don’t know we’re located in the Dallas metro area.)
And if this isn’t enough to ruin everybody’s patio furniture, apparently we’re expecting more of the same on Thursday and Friday, too!

To help with my overall pain level tonight I just took 20 mg of Norco and bought three gorgeous collections of digital “papers” from Creative Market ... 12 Coral Backgrounds, 12 Mint Green Backgrounds and 12 Shabby Chic Pink Damask Backgrounds. FYI, the mint green backgrounds actually look more like aqua to me, but I’m not going to have a nervous breakdown about it because they’re beautiful. Right? I’m going to use these to make more breathtaking new products for The Howdygram Store ... because more is always better.

I’d better get going now. It’s high time to transfer my carcass to the chaise in the family room because I’m in agony, huge storms are approaching fast from the west, I need some fruity sugar-free Jell-O cups and I want to watch a couple of outstanding movies, such as Dinner at Eight (1933) starring Marie Dressler and Lionel Barrymore and Arsène Lupin (1932) starring John Barrymore and Karen Morley.
Thank you for reading this!

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