Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Texans Republicans always love a good, juicy racist.

Happy Super Tuesday from the resident political junkie — i.e., yours truly — at Howdygram headquarters! As far as I can tell from various entertaining “live blogs” around the country it looks like there are no yoooge surprises in the voting results at this time. East coast results are pointing to CLINTON and TRUMP with the exception of Bernie Sanders (Sam’s favorite) in Oklahoma and Vermont, and it’s still too early for any results from Texas. Ted Cruz is hoping to win here — he’s got heavyweights like Rick Perry pulling for him! — but who knows? Trump is still the biggest racist of the bunch, and Texans Republicans always love a good, juicy racist.

Personally, I can’t wait for the results from American Samoa. Has anybody seen the early predictions? (On nights like this I wish I could drink alcohol instead of Diet Sunkist.)

I’ve only got a a short list of free fonts for you today because I didn’t really spend much time browsing for treasures on BeFonts.com. I happen to love all three of these! “Yosemite” is an interesting twist on a stencil font, “Pekora” is nicely condensed with a tall “X” height and a long list of different styles and weights with and without slab serifs, and “Ave Betwan” is the mid-weight version of a three-font family. I offered the other two weights — “Ave Fedan” (bold) and “Ave Utan” (light) — in earlier Howdygram posts. Please let me know if you want either or both of them and I’ll send you the files myself.

I spent most of my day today involved in two fulfilling activities: 1) sleeping; and 2) horsing around with The Howdygram Store on Zazzle, where I’ve been developing new artwork and inventing some great new greeting cards. If you haven’t shopped on The Howdygram Store you definitely need to check it out. A few of my latest hoo-hahs appear below.
One more shameless plug before I move on to other subjects, okay? Zazzle.com has a couple of excellent free shipping plans as a huge incentive to buy more of their wonderful and unique shit for yourself, your friends and your relatives. Free shipping with regular Zazzle Black (via USPS with tracking) is $9.95 a year. Zazzle Black Two-Day is $39.95 a year. Trust me, both of these programs pay for themselves right out of the gate. I’ve made three purchases since the first of the year and already saved $19.57 on shipping charges. (I upgraded from Zazzle Black to Zazzle Two-Day today. Don’t tell Sam.)

Breaking news! Here in Texas, Hillary Clinton won the Demoratic primary today and Turd Cruz won the Republican primary.

And little Marco Robot, who won HIS VERY FIRST STINKING STATE (sorry, Minnesota) on Super Tuesday, gave another rousing yet confusing victory speech in Virginia tonight that included the following statement: “Trump’s numbers are going down and ours are going up!” What the fuck that does that even mean, Marco? Do you seriously believe that winning Minnesota will sweep you into the White House? We sure don’t!
Also, apparently a whole herd of New Jersey newspapers are asking for Chris Christie to resign as governor based on his relentless arrogance, his failed presidential bid, the amount of time he wasted ignoring New Jersey, and now his confusing endorsement of Donald Trump, the racist orangutan who’s suddenly Christie’s new best friend. The newspapers in question, all owned by Gannett, say the citizens of New Jersey should begin an immediate recall campaign if Christie won’t resign. Brilliant! TWO THUMBS UP FROM THE HOWDYGRAM!

Sam and I are going to eat popcorn shrimp in the family room and watch today’s episode of “People’s Court.” Thank you for reading this.

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