Friday, October 2, 2015

Pay attention to your credit cards, people.

I forgot to include this juicy moronic tidbit in my last post so I thought I’d do another, okay? This time I want to discuss Jon Ritzheimer, the Muslim-hating militia asswipe in Arizona who’s really just a great big man-baby pussy. Ritzheimer and his pals (his pals are the ones in camo gear) like to show up heavily armed at local Mosques — at prayer time — occasionally decked out in “FUCK ISLAM” tee shirts, so Jon can sob on YouTube about getting unfair Facebook death threats and scream “THIS IS TERRORISM IN AMERICA!” while he sets up a GoFundMe page to grift Americans for $10 million so he and his family can relocate and hide out in luxury.

Yeah, right. You’re the asshole skinhead armed with an AK-47 in front of a Mosque, and they’re the terrorists?! Check it out ...
I’ve written about Ritzheimer before, most recently on September 23 [read the post here] when we bestowed him with an Einstein Award for threatening to arrest and hang a senator in Michigan and asking everybody to donate gas money so he can pay for the road trip from Arizona. (I shit you not.) For the record, back in May Ritzheimer’s GoFundMe page was shut down after four hours due to him being an asshole and the website operators were having none of it. The plea for gas money didn’t work, either.

You might enjoy the following parody video of Ritzheimer begging for money and sobbing. (I saw the original. This is spot-on.)

Which brings us to TODAY. Ritzheimer and his anti-Muslim goonies have planned at least 20 “rallies” this month at mosques, Islamic centers and other sites across the Unites States. A Facebook group called Global Rally for Humanity (are they joking?) has put out a call for anti-Muslim demonstrations in “every country at every Mosque” on October 9 and 10. Some of the organizers are encouraging demonstrators to show up armed, others don’t think the goons should bring any weapons.

The event in Dearborn, Michigan is billed as an “OPEN CARRY ANTI-MOSQUE PRO-AMERICA RALLY.” There’s nothing pro-American about hatred and persecution, you fucking morons!

“I want fellow patriots standing right here next to me,” Ritzheimer told The Washington Post. “This isn’t about me. Everybody’s been thinking it, I’m just saying it.”

Sorry, you pathetic fear-mongering asshole, everyone is NOT thinking it. Only small-minded, terrified little whiny TITTY-BABIES are thinking it, and you’re all too stupid to breathe! To prove my point, here’s a photo from Ritzheimer’s idiotic “Draw Mohammed” rally in Phoenix a few months ago.

Pay attention to your credit cards, people. The morning Sam left for California a fraudulent charge showed up on our American Express card. Sam called customer service, they cancelled the account and are sending new cards. The important thing is, we haven’t used our American Express card for at least a year but Sam still logs on to look at our account online at least three times a week to see if there’s been any activity. YOU HAVE TO BE VIGILANT.

But wait ... there’s more! Yesterday Sam received a text message that our Visa card has been compromised (what the fuck!) so he called the 800 number, they closed the account and will issue new cards. This Visa is the card we use for ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING because it pays us frequent flyer miles on Southwest Airlines so Sam can go to California for free.

Until this horseshit get straightened out, however, I’ve got no credit cards whatsoever. I think I’m having a nervous breakdown.

Thank you.

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