Saturday, September 26, 2015

Bobby Jindal is a confused conservative “moran” on steroids.

Howdy-do and happy Saturday from the bowels of north Texas! I thought I’d get started on a Howdygram post while Sam is packing for his trip to California, which commences about two and a half hours from now when his flight takes off from Love Field. For your possible interest the following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; B) Love Field airport; C) the State Fair of Texas in south Dallas, which is a major hoo-hah today full of people eating funnel cakes and deep-fried manure on a stick; D) Sam works here; and E) George Dubya Bush’s house in the snooty Preston Hollow neighborhood.

So here’s what’s happening. It’s 10 a.m., Sam is at the airport, I’ve got water boiling in my electric tea kettle so I can make a bag of Mountain House freeze-dried Biscuits & Gravy and I’m having some VERY REVOLTING PAIN on my legs. It’s that fucked-up skin condition again on the back of my thighs that feels like a third degree burn. And it even bleeds! Nothing I do ever makes this shit feel better but I’m hoping that breakfast and an extra dose of Norco might make a dent. Please stay tuned for further developments. (If this doesn’t work I’ll move on to Plan B ... a nap and a William Powell movie.)
Mountain House freeze-dried entrees are perfect for handicapped senior citizens like yours truly who can’t walk to the kitchen, stand up to cook a meal or even nuke a couple of corn dogs. The best online prices for Mountain House are at Amazon and Wal-Mart. (Tip: Please use ¼-cup LESS water than required in the directions or you’ll end up with runny gravy.)

Here we go ... another Putz of the Week! This time we’re acknowledging Piyush “Call Me Bobby” Jindal, 2016 GOP presidential hopeful and governor of Louisiana who makes believe he’s white. Mostly, Jindal is just a confused conservative “moran” on steroids who wants to fire the entire House of Representatives even though they’re actually ELECTED OFFICIALS and you can’t fire them, Bobby.
This is a classic example of the right wing’s plan to make government smaller by expanding it. Jindal wants to just GET RID OF EVERYBODY IN WASHINGTON, D.C. Unfortunately, replacing Republicans with more Republicans will only lead to additional shitbags like Senator Ted Cruz — the narcissistic, grandstanding delusionals who use government to raise money for their personal agendas.

The Republican party is collapsing on itself, and even the non-crazies are getting dragged into the quicksand until they have no choice but to save themselves or cave in. Good luck, Piyush.

Oy. I need a nap AND I NEED IT RIGHT NOW. Thank you.

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