Hot damn. It’s Monty Woolley Day on TCM!

We’re winding down the month of August and Turner Classic Movies’ juicy annual SUMMER UNDER THE STARS festival, featuring a different overpaid big shot’s films every day of the month. For the next five days TCM is celebrating Monty Woolley, Ingrid Bergman, George C. Scott, Gary Cooper and Shelley Winters, all pictured below for your possible interest.

Here are my favorite picks in case you’ve got space on your DVR to record a few movies. Stock up on Pop Secret from Wal-Mart here at an unbeatable price or you can just microwave a couple of nice corn dogs. (I like Schwan’s.)

THURSDAY 8/27: MONTY WOOLLEY

Everybody Sing (1938) with Allan Jones, Fanny Brice and Judy Garland
Molly and Me (1945) with Gracie Fields
The Man Who Came to Dinner (1942) with Bette Davis and Ann Sheridan
The Bishop’s Wife (1942) with Cary Grant, David Niven and Loretta Young

FRIDAY 8/28: INGRID BERGMAN

Casablanca (1942) with Humphrey Bogart and Paul Henreid
Gaslight (1944) with Charles Boyer and Joseph Cotten

SATURDAY 8/29: GEORGE C. SCOTT

Anatomy of a Murder (1959) with James Stewart and Lee Remick
Patton (1970) with Karl Malden and a cast of millions

SUNDAY 8/30: GARY COOPER

Friendly Persuasion (1956) with Dorothy McGuire and Anthony Perkins
Sergeant York (1941) with Walter Brennan’s eyebrows

MONDAY 8/31: SHELLEY WINTERS

Executive Suite (1954) with William Holden and June Allyson
Lolita (1962) with Sue Lyon and James Mason
The Poseidon Adventure (1972) with Gene Hackman and Ernest Borgnine

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This is a REALLY BIG DAY, people! Our handyman Gary will be here at 9 with a pal and a rented truck to haul away our old sectional sofa. This is goddamn fabulous because our NEW sectional will be delivered 24 hours from now and I’ll finally be able to lounge around on top grain leather instead of that annoying microfiber shit from Macy’s with thick corded seam piping that irritated the skin on my legs until it was RAW. Our new sectional is a custom-built masterpiece from The Leather Sofa Co. right here in Dallas. We ordered the “Maxwell” (see below) in Aztec Khaki.

Thank you for reading this. (Seriously.)