Know what? Every Monday there’s an element of “separation anxiety” around here when Sam goes back to work after the weekend. I get depressed because Sam is fun, cute, entertaining and attentive plus I love playing with his toes. When he’s not here I have to fill my time with the Howdygram, kvetching, folding socks, ordering an occasional pantry essential from Wal-Mart and one or two naps with a movie. It’s a nice life.
Monday, August 31, 2015
Sunday, August 30, 2015
I feel like CRAP this morning. It’s actually been kind of a quadruple-whammy. I woke up at 5 a.m. in a puddle of perspiration and couldn’t catch my breath, the result of a fairly substantial fever and a severe low blood sugar episode. I sat in the bathroom eating glucose chewables until I started to feel steady again and then popped one of my prescription painkillers because it’s got Tylenol in it. While I wait for it to kick in I’m also dealing with pain in my knees and heels plus raw skin on the back of both thighs. It’s like winning the weekend agony lottery. LET’S SLAM THAT POOR OLD BROAD WITH EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE! So here for your possible interest is the latest Shit-O-Meter report. Oy.
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Shalom, happy Saturday, what’s new and how’s the family from your friends at Howdygram headquarters! I’ve got a shitload of exciting topics and snide remarks to share with y’all today, so go make yourself a cheese sandwich and let’s get started.
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Disgraced Confederate lard queen Paula Deen has joined the cast of “Dancing with the Stars” for season 21.
Hello, friends. Although I’m not having a swell day, pain-wise, by any stretch of the imagination, I thought I’d fill some time with a Howdygram post because my faithful readers are starting to foam at the mouth and wonder what the fuck happened to me. The answer? I’m alive. I’m regular. I’m drinking a Diet Sunkist and trying to strategize how to prepare my own dinner before Sam gets home from work because I’m hungry. And I’ve still got my sense of humor.
Monday, August 24, 2015
Before I leap into some of the Howdygram’s more popular features — jerks, Internet deals and politics — please put up with me while I do some whining. I’m not having a good day, pain-wise, and as I write this post all of the following are giving me serious grief. I have: 1) a low-grade fever that’s causing more joint and muscle pain than usual; 2) a headache; 3) pain in my left heel from plantar fasciitis; 4) raw skin on the back of both thighs; 5) a dying, screaming nerve on the outside of my right thigh that’s so painful even AIR makes it hurt; 6) a disgusting heat rash all over my stomach resulting from item one; and 7) shitty cuticles. On top of all that I’M REALLY HUNGRY RIGHT NOW and Sam won’t be home from work for at least two more hours. (Sam cooks for me. Stop laughing.) GOD BLESS PRESCRIPTION PAINKILLERS.
In case you’re wondering where I’ve been and what have I been doing, please note that I didn’t have time to write a post on Sunday due to: 1) no inspiration; 2) a serious shortage of rejuvenating naps; 3) hanging out with Sam; 4) installing the latest round of meaningless Howdygram design tweaks; and 5) I can’t think of anything else. Just deal with it, okay?
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Good morning, people, and happy Saturday to you and yours! It’s 7:30 a.m., Sam is on the mend, I’m stuffed with corn dogs and life is good here at Howdygram headquarters. I”ll begin by showing off my three newest free fonts for your possible interest.
Friday, August 21, 2015
I’m not having an easy time here. Poor Sam is FUCKING MISERABLE with head-to-toe poison ivy blisters and I had my own very bad day with chronic pain that included knees, heels, feet, hands, raw bleeding skin on the back of my thighs, a migraine headache and screaming nerve endings. Sam manages to sleep through his misery but I can’t. I tried for two whole hours to fall asleep in bed but eventually gave up and hauled my ass into the study. I can always find distractions on the Internet. The time at the tone will be 4:28 a.m. (Beep.)
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
I’m so zoned out on prescription painkillers today I keep dropping my cordless Apple mouse on the floor. Unfortunately, the damn thing is really slippery and impossible to pick up with my long-reach grabber whatnot so I have to whack it into one of my memory foam slippers first. It’s always something, isn’t it? Shit.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Monday, August 17, 2015
I know you’ll forgive me for not writing a Howdygram post over the weekend. I didn’t feel very creative or inspired and there wasn’t really any big news to report except that I ordered the following new throw pillow from Wal-Mart. It’s for our new leather sectional that’s being custom-made by The Leather Sofa Co. right here in Dallas. (It’s supposed to be ready by the end of August. Keep those fingers crossed, people.)
Posted by Marcy Marks at 6:35:00 PM
Friday, August 14, 2015
You know what? As a housebound senior citizen with crap knees, diabetes, fucked-up skin issues and a load of chronic pain I realized today that my life is basically an endless stream of minutiae.
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Holy crap, what a wild and crazy day packed with unforgettable events here at Howdygram headquarters! The complete list appears below for your possible interest.
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Ready for some huge news? I’m really hungry right now and might consider making my own goddamn dinner tonight instead of waiting until Sam gets home from work at 9:15. Or I could order something, which is faster, tastier and involves zero manual labor. Maybe Chinese! With SHRIMP DUMPLINGS and EGG ROLLS* and HOT & SOUR SOUP and EXTRA SOY SAUCE!
Monday, August 10, 2015
Hi. I’m soooo zoned-out right now on prescription painkillers that I’m not sure I remember how to type, and I’ve been typing since I was seven years old when my cousin Bobby taught me how to use the “shift” key to get capital letters on the old manual typewriter in his parents’ basement. I hope you don’t think I’m kidding, because I’m not. TYPING IS MY WHOLE GODDAMN LIFE ASIDE FROM SAM.
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Thursday, August 6, 2015
THIS IS A MOMENTOUS DAY AT HOWDYGRAM HEADQUARTERS. No, my caps key isn’t stuck; there’s just no other way to emphasize that today is a big fucking deal around here and I want to tell you WHY.
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Heat has to be the big story today because WE’RE FRYING TO DEATH IN TEXAS. Holy crap, check it out for yourself. Relentless triple digits, no rain in sight and enough humidity to make it feel like a third-world country. THANK GOD FOR CHERRY POPSICLES AND CENTRAL AIR. Thank you.
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
It’s 9:30 Tuesday morning. Sam just got back from a variety of important errands — complete details appear below — while I stayed home at Howdygram headquarters, holding down the proverbial fort with a Marcytini and a bathrobe.
Monday, August 3, 2015
Ken Paxton could lose his job as a state official and have to stop lawyering for the rest of his life.
Holy crap. I can’t believe I forgot to show you my latest shopping conquest! They’re small glass bathroom canisters by InterDesign that measure about 3½" wide by 5" tall, maybe the same size as a can of soda except for the short one, which isn’t. I ordered FIVE of these cute little hoo-hahs from Amazon ... two with bronze lids (see below) for the family room and for my nightstand in the master bedroom, and three with chrome lids for the bathrooms. Aside from being relatively cheap they’re also exquisitely useful. I’ll fill three with emergency glucose tablets because I’m diabetic, one with Q-Tips, and I’ll use the short one as a classy denture cup. I’M SO EXCITED I CAN HARDLY STAND IT. (Stop laughing immediately.)
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Saturday, August 1, 2015
I couldn’t write a Howdygram post yesterday for several large and thoroughly acceptable reasons: 1) we just finished remodeling our house and I spent all day staring at it; 2) naps; 3) Sam and I purged every closet in the house and stuffed several thousand bags for Goodwill; and 4) I think that’s enough. Thank you for not being a pest about this.