Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Puncturing my fingers is huge fun and I look forward to every opportunity.

I can’t believe I never wrote a Howdygram post yesterday. I wanted to. I tried. I even made a list of possible topics. Ultimately I wound up giving very few fucks, took an extra nap and watched The Runaway Bus (1954) starring Margaret Rutherford, Frankie Howerd and Petula Clark. A brief movie review appears below for your possible interest.

I don’t know if you’re a fan of British comedies or not, but one of these days you really have to make time for The Runaway Bus. This is a cute British film about a handful of air travelers grounded at Heathrow by lousy weather all assigned to a shuttle bus trying to get them across town in zero visibility fog to another airport about 50 miles away. The driver (Frankie Howerd) is lost and has no idea where the hell they are, one of the passengers is walking in front of the bus with a flashlight trying to find the curb, Margaret Rutherford is adorably annoying as a high maintenance senior citizen on her way to Ireland who faints every time she doesn’t get what she wants, and Petula Clark is an airport  supervisor trying to keep everybody from having a nervous breakdown.
But wait ... there’s more! About half an hour after the bus finally creeps out of Heathrow the driver gets news over his two-way radio that the airport’s security shed was robbed of a huge shipment of gold bars. Police think they’re stashed in the bus’ luggage compartment and the thief is one of the bus passengers. But WHICH ONE?! Oy!

I love this movie. I love drifting off to sleep with all the dense fog, I think Frankie Howerd is hilarious and Margaret Rutherford steals every scene. TCM includes The Runaway Bus in their lineup every now and then or you can buy it for $8.99 on Amazon.

And now for a Howdygram Einstein Award. Our honoree is Governor Piyush “Call Me Bobby” Jindal of Louisiana, a sad little asswipe who can’t stop beating a dead horse. Yesterday when his state legislature shelved a divisive and obnoxious “religious objections” bill with regard to same-sex marriage, Jindal announced his great big FUCK YOU. He said nobody cares what the legislature decides because he’ll issue an executive order instead “to prevent the state from discriminating against persons or entities with deeply held religious beliefs that marriage is between one man and one woman.”
Critics in the business community say the bill will sanction legal discrimination against LGBT couples  and prevent the state from taking punitive action against a person or small business that refuses to serve someone based on their same-sex marriage.

Proponents of the bill have cited wedding photographers and bakers as examples of morons who should have legal protection if they object to serving same-sex couples. “It would effectively prevent you from getting the death penalty as a business owner if you stood by your traditional belief in marriage,” said Representative Mike Johnson. “I think that's a belief that worthy of protection.”

The DEATH PENALTY? Holy shit. Exaggerate much?

Johnson also acknowledged that the bill would bar the state from punishing an emergency room surgeon who refuses to operate on someone in a same-sex marriage or a teacher who refuses to meet with a student’s gay or lesbian parents. Stephen Perry, head of the New Orleans Convention and Visitors Bureau, called the bill “radioactive” and said it would make Louisiana “complicit in official state-sanctioned bigotry.” Also the laughingstock of the United States.

Bobby Jindal is a greasy little turd who makes me sick to my stomach. He panders to the far right hoping the racists will think he’s white while he turns the state of Louisiana into a cesspool of legislated hate. Mazel tov. What an accomplishment. Just in time for a window seat in the 2016 Republican Clown Car!

Today was the BIG DAY, people. I did a monthly blood test this morning to check my coagulation time. I’ve got my own fancy-ass $1,400 CoaguChek XS blood-test meter and all the necessary at-home accessories — test strips and finger-stabby things — and I’m pleased to report that my pro-thrombin (PT) time today registered at 2.8. This is within the normal range for a Coumadin patient such as yours truly and I sent an email to Dr. M with the results. I totally LOVE not having to shlep to the lab once a month to have this done and it also saves us a $25 insurance copay. Plus puncturing my fingers is huge fun and I look forward to every opportunity.
FYI, I have a heart condition — atrial fibrillation — and take Coumadin (a blood thinner) to prevent having a stroke. I also take Metoprolol for the same condition, except Metoprolol slows my heart rate, which is ridiculously fast and sloppy. I guess everything is working well because I’m still here.

I might write another post today just for the hell of it. Thank you.

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