Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Sam made a big snowball today for show-and-tell.

I’m pleased to report that we survived another mostly-bogus winter weather hoo-hah. At 4:15 this morning we had another brief thundersleet event raging outside; our second round since Monday. Lucky us, though ... everything changed to JUST ICE and then A LOT OF NASTY COLD RAIN, and by 8 a.m. the temperature dipped one more degree and we wound up with just enough PRETTY FLUFFY SNOW for Sam to run outside in his parka and make a big ball for show-and-tell. By noon it was sunny and 45° and not a trace of anything remained.

The following screen capture shows local ABC weatherdoofus Pete Delkus delivering our snow forecast last night at midnight, which turned out to be A PACK OF STINKING LIES because nobody got four inches of snow and all the schools were closed today for no reason whatsoever. The red star denotes Howdygram headquarters.

For those of you wondering how I’m doing with my new prescription painkiller — thank you for asking! — the answer is REALLY, REALLY SWELL. I started taking hydrocodone last weekend even though my reaction to this drug in years past has always been dismal, such as puking and losing consciousness. This time, however, all is well. I’m taking 5 mg three times a day and just requested a refill from my doctor at the next-higher dose because MORE IS ALWAYS BETTER where narcotics are concerned. My chronic pain level is way down, I’m getting a lot more sleep and I almost feel like a person again.

I would like to announce our latest Putz of the Week honoree: Glenn Grothman, a freshman Republican Congressman from Wisconsin who believes that welfare is “a bribe not to work that hard” and that food stamp programs “encourage sloth.” In his ongoing drive to uncover abuse even where none exists, Grothman has asked his constituents to spy on poor people and look into their grocery carts. He has previously written that, according to his right-wing supermarket detective squad, people who get assistance from the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) tend to use that money to purchase “steak and lobster” and brand-name products instead of generics, and he very much wants to reform Wisconsin’s SNAP program, which is called Food Share, because, in his opinion, THE PEOPLE USING IT DON’T ACT POOR ENOUGH.
The Howdygram wonders what “poor enough” means to a shitbag like you, Mister Congressman. A cart full of shriveled vegetables and expired meat while flogging oneself with a chain?

Grothman says he “hears stories” (right-wing Republicans always hear stories!) about able-bodied citizens receiving disability payments, Social Security payments and Food Share benefits. He told the people in attendance at a recent town hall meeting to keep an eye on the types of things people on Food Share buy at the grocery store and ask people for more information if they brag about being on disability. “I would argue some people are arranging their life to be on Food Share,” Grothman said. “You just look at them and kind of wonder.” Really?

Try to picture a sample scenario in Glenn Grothman’s world. “Can I see what’s in your cart? Who said you could buy brand-name egg noodles? What kind of disability do you have, anyway? What do you mean, ‘None of your fucking business?!’”

Frankly, I would rather see my tax dollars feed the poor than pay the salary of an asshole like Glenn Grothman with those repulsive JERRY SANDUSKY TEETH.

Thank you and have a pleasant evening. I want to eat some braunschweiger now.

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