Monday, February 2, 2015

King China has Szechwan Eggplant but China City has nicer dumplings and their egg rolls don’t taste like feet.

I didn’t think anybody would actually notice (or care) that I didn’t write two Howdygram posts yesterday so I was surprised to receive several inquiries this morning. Mostly I was asleep all day yesterday, off and on, with brief breaks for food consumption and an occasional trip to the bathroom. I’m afraid I’ll have to blame two of my new prescription meds again — Metoprolol and Gabapentin — because THEY MAKE ME SO DAMN TIRED. As soon as I wake up from a three-hour nap I find that I start fantasizing about the next one.

To tell you the truth, nap fantasies are a very enjoyable hobby and NOT something I’m willing to give up. So go away.

Anything interesting on your agenda this week? I’ve got an appointment tomorrow morning at 9:15 with my brand new cardiologist, Dr. Singh, for an echocardiogram and a follow-up consultation. He’ll also switch me from Eliquis to Coumadin, which I’m taking for a heart condition — ATRIAL FIBRILLATION — that puts me at risk for a stroke and was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago during a routine appointment with my primary care physician. Holy shit. I didn’t need an additional stroke risk, people. DIABETES AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

In the meantime, for your possible interest the following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; B) Dr. Singh’s office on Alpha Drive in Rockwall on other side of Interstate 30 from Costco; C) Costco; and D) China City, my second-favorite Chinese delivery after King China on Northwest Highway in Garland. (King China has Szechwan Eggplant but China City has nicer dumplings and their egg rolls don’t taste like feet.)

I have another Putz of the Week for you. It’s been a while since his repulsive face has graced the pages of this blog, but once again we’re recognizing America’s juvenile bankruptcy orangutan, asshole DONALD TRUMP, for attempting to blame President Obama for the Seattle Seahawks’ Super Bowl loss. I’m serious.
Here’s Trump’s rant yesterday on Twitter:
I only have one comment: WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT.

I also have an Einstein Award for you today! A nine-year-old fourth grader named Aiden Stewart was suspended from school on Friday in Odessa, Texas, for making TERRORISTIC THREATS when he wore his new “magic” Hobbit ring to school and told his friend he could make him disappear. Principal Roxanne “Einstein” Greer warned Aiden’s father that “threats to another child’s safety would not be tolerated — whether magical or not,” according to the Odessa American. “I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to threaten his friend’s existence,” Jason Stewart wrote in an email to the New York Daily News. “And if he did, I’m sure he’d bring him right back.”
This is the third time Aiden has been suspended by this principal. His father told the Daily News that Aiden was suspended once for referring to a black student as “black” and another time for bringing “The Big Book of Knowledge,” a children’s encyclopedia, to school, which his terrified teacher said contained AN ILLUSTRATION OF A PREGNANT WOMAN. Holy shit.

Texas is such a goddamn embarrassment sometimes. These yahoos should stick to rodeos.

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