Sunday, January 4, 2015

Maybe I could try knitting pot holders for fun and profit.

I greet you from the bowels of Howdygram headquarters, where I’m doing my best to spring back to life from the longest nap since Rip Van Fucking Winkle. After being jolted awake again this morning with a raging case of hypoglycemia — and barely two stinking hours of sleep — I conked myself out in the family room at 9:45, slept until 3:30, hauled myself straight into bed and slept another 90 minutes. That’s MORE THAN SEVEN HOURS, people! At this point my schedule is so insanely convoluted that I think I’ll just give up and look for a work-at-home graveyard shift job for insomniac senior citizens who eat marshmallow Santas. Maybe I could try knitting pot holders for fun and profit.

LIVE SPORTS UPDATE — 5:52 P.M. In case you’re not watching the Cowboys/Lions game — neither am I, actually, but I’m monitoring live updates online — you might be interested to know what’s the score at the end of the third quarter (almost). It’s Detroit 20, Dallas 7. Actually, this is no surprise whatsoever because I KNEW ALL THIS PLAYOFFS HOO-HAH WOULD BE TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.
LIVE SPORTS UPDATE — 6:48 P.M. Holy shit, they did it, guys. THE COWBOYS WON THE GAME! They started the fourth quarter six points down and came from behind to beat the Lions 24 to 20. I watched the last 10 minutes of the game in the family room, and the win, in a word, was REALLY IMPRESSIVE. (Okay, two words.) I suppose I have to take back all the lousy things I’ve been saying about the Dallas Cowboys ... but I can still hate Jerry Jones, right?

So what’s on tap at Howdygram headquarters for the balance of the night? I’ll begin with some food so I don’t run into another episode of hypoglycemia while I watch some excellent television, including the season premier of “Downton Abbey” on PBS and a “Columbo” rerun. If I still feel perky enough after that I’ll continue with one of the following movies I recorded yesterday on TCM: Charade (1963) starring Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn; Anchors Aweigh (1945) starring Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly; or Bells Are Ringing (1960) starring Judy Holliday and Dean Martin. If you’d like to vote on which one I should watch you have 15 minutes to send me an email. Thank you.
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