Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Costco ran out of teeny tacos. This is an outrage.

Merry Almost-Christmas Eve to my loyal and goyishe Howdygram readers! Sam kicked off the festivities this morning with trips to Wal-Mart to pick up prescriptions, to the dentist to find out why the hell they’re not sending him a bill and to Costco to purchase a large volume of our favorite tasty crap, including lots of ready-to-eat Tex-Mex things, grapefruit cups and maybe muffins. Unfortunately, after a brief Face Time interlude Sam just informed me that Costco ran out of our essential teeny tacos — THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! — so he’s substituting a tub of shrimp salad and a great big meatloaf entree with mashed potatoes. I am holding down the fort at home in the meantime with help from a regiment of Russell Stover sugar-free marshmallow Santas.

I’ve got another brand new senior citizen recipe for you today, people! This time it’s my SENIOR CITIZEN AVGOLEMONO SOUP WITH COSTCO CANNED CHICKEN & LEMON DUST, an easy way to throw together a wonderful (and fast) steaming pot of food even if you’re a miserable old lady with mobility issues who can’t stand at the stove and cook things any more.
The ingredients include a bag of Cugino’s Lemon Chicken & Rice soup mix (available from Wal-Mart or Soups Online), one can of Costco canned chicken, four packets of True Lemon (unsweetened) granulated lemon and about half a cup of uncooked Ciao Carb high-protein rice-shaped pasta. You’ll also need salt and pepper to taste. (Especially salt.)

All you need to do is boil two cups of milk and six cups of water in a soup pot, throw in all of your ingredients, stir a couple of times and let everything simmer for about half an hour. That’s it! And best of all, this soup is every bit as good as the avgolemono you’d get in an authentic Greek restaurant except you don’t have to pay for valet parking, wear a brassiere or watch somebody’s grandfather eat a lamb’s head at the next table. (True story.)

Thank you for reading this.

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